Sandwich Terrorism Is Now Legal. Also, Here Are Some Sandwiches We Like

Last week, ex-Justice Department staffer Sean Dunn, or “the D.C. Sandwich Guy,” was tried in front of a grand jury for the crime of throwing a hoagie at a Border Patrol agent. According to the charging papers, Dunn had thrown the “sub-style sandwich” after yelling “Fuck you! You fucking fascists!” The “victim,” as part of the Trump administration’s intensive federal takeover that began in August, was patrolling in the city’s U Street Corridor, a vibrant neighborhood for arts, culture, and nightlife. It’s also a neighborhood that has a Subway franchise.

The agent testified that, while uninjured, he could feel the sandwich’s “explosive” impact through his ballistic vest. Notably, he added, “I could smell the onions and mustard.” That was apparently enough to earn Dunn a federal assault charge. But on Thursday, Dunn was found not guilty. 

We can’t possibly understand the full implications of this verdict just yet; only time will tell the true meaning of this acquittal as precedent. But from where we’re sitting: Sure seems like sandwich terrorism is now legal in the United States of America. 

Incidentally, we’ve put together a list of really explosive sandwiches in the Bay Area.