Portland Is a ‘War Zone’? OK, Sure. So How’s the Food?

“The Radical Left’s reign of terror in Portland ends now,” reads a White House announcement from Sept. 30, in which the Trump administration declared it would deploy federal forces to quell what it called the “Antifa-led hellfire” swallowing up the city.

“The amazing thing is, you look at Portland and you see fires all over the place,” Trump told reporters at the White House on Wednesday. “You see fights, and I mean just violence. It's just so crazy.”

Is Portland’s present the Bay Area’s future? In a recent interview, Salesforce CEO Marc Benioff implored Trump to send the National Guard into San Francisco. (He’s just not that into you, Marc! You’re looking desperate!) 

But is Portland burning? And is it still possible to get a decent breakfast there while Antifa supersoldiers are rampaging through the streets? Last week, COYOTE sent its top food reporter to the People’s Republic of Portlandia to find out. (That’s me.)